Food Anxiety

Tomorrow is my boss’s birthday – but with it being on a Friday he is taking it off, so he told us all yesterday that this morning he was going to everyone favorite bakery and bringing in doughnuts.

I am a sugar addict and I love doughnuts – particularly ones from a good bakery.  Knowing that these were coming in today was a serious source of anxiety.  People who are judgmental about those of us who battle our weight don’t realize is that it is an addiction, but unlike alcohol where you can quit cold turkey, you have to eat to survive.  Those doughnuts sitting there are like a recovering alcoholic going to a bar and just having water while everyone else is drinking.  Everyone (including my boss) keeps asking me if I got one.  There was cake at a my division managers birthday celebration a couple days ago and in the course of a few minutes three different people tried to hand me a piece of cake since I didn’t have one and I had to keep saying that I did not want one and then explain why not.  After watching the documentary on Netflix “Fed Up” I better understand why food brings so much anxiety – sugar is highly addictive.  The one point I remember is comparing sugar to cocaine.  They had 43 lab rats who were addicted to cocaine when given the choice to continue cocaine use or switch to sugar water, 40 picked sugar.  Here is an article from the Huffington Post that summarize the documentary: Fed Up Summary

Now the battle is – how to combat this addiction.  We sit in a cubical that is a quad (four desks, one is each corner) with open work areas at each end.  The doughnuts ended up between myself and a fellow coworker with the same struggles.  From this location I would just need to turn and reach to get one, I wouldn’t even need to stand up.  Both me and my coworker started together on Tuesday, so this is only day 3 for us. We relocated them across the isle to our other coworkers desks.


Knowing in advance there would be a serious temptation and source of anxiety – I stopped by the grocery store this morning and got fruit for us to give us a healthy sweet treat with natural vs added sugar.


The doughnuts siting just a few feet away continue to serve as a massive temptations (which we have resisted – way easier to do so with two of us) and a source of anxiety.  We know if we eat one, we will want two, whereas the fruit was a nice morning treat but we had our serving and moved on.  Going to continue this battle, one day at a time.